Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A repost woth reposting :P

This left me with tears of laughter streaming down my face!!

Every year, English teachers from across the USA may submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides  gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar Eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
9. McBride fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
10. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00pm instead of 7:30.
11. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
12. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
13. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.
14. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
15. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds that had also never met.
16. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
17. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
18. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Frank. But unlike Frank, this plan just might work.
19. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
20. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
21. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
22. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
23. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
~Remember--laughter is medicine to the soul!

Sunday, March 25, 2012


Just quickly throwing out a list of some of my favorite books for all you people who want to catch up on reading in your spare time (not that  really have any, but you might...)

Starting off with my favorite series'...

~ A series of Fairy-tales retold in the modern world!
.Shadow of the Bear (cute and fun) <-- Snow White and Rose Red
.Black as Night (slow, but persevere!!) <--Sleeping Beauty/Snow White
.Waking Rose (my personal fav)<--Sleeping Beauty/Rose Red
.Midnight Dancers (get parent permission to read this one!!) <--12 dancing princesses
.Alex O'Donnell and the Forty Cyber-theives (not her best, but still good) <--Ali Baba and the forty Theivs

~Definitely one of my faves!! mre action than romance, but still a little bit of the latter :P
.The Thief (not too great, but it introduces the characters)
.Queen of Attolia (absolutely stupendous)
King of Attolia (same)

~ Another series of retold fairy-tales, this one by many different authors...these are all part of a series called Once Upon A Time, my favorite being The Crimson Thread

~ Yet another set of retold fairy-tales :P
.The Goose Girl (very nice...slightly younger)
. Enna Burning (a little more action and romance)
. River Secrets (by far the funniest)
.Forrest Born (a little random...not as good as the others)

~The Alex Rider and Artemis Fowl series' are both fun action/boy genius type reads, and good to read if you like that kind of thing.  If you do the Artemis Fowl series, I suggest getting them out on CD-the narrater is great and adds a whole new dimension to the books.

I have to go now, but I'll post on individual books the moment, you should have enough to keep you reading for a long time.


Saturday, March 24, 2012

One of my great guy-freinds recently wrote this lovely tale...his first shot at fairy tales... :P

Who Doesn't Like A Fairy Tale?

Hello All,
At the request of many, I have decided to try and bring this blog back to life and start posting more often.  With that being, any writer will tell you that it is much easier to write when you are getting feedback and ideas from your audience.  This was a large part for me tapering off last time.  I found that while I was getting the hits I wanted, I wasn't getting anything else, which made it hard to convince myself to go on.  Still, I find that I have missed writing here and apparently there are quite a few other folks as well who have missed seeing new posts.  So, if you read something here that you enjoy or you'd flat-out just like to do a favor, please feel free to pass this blog onto others.  

Now that that's out of the way.

A little while ago, a friend was asking me to write her a short little story.  Eventually giving in, I went over to the... Well, we all know where to go for the best inspiration.  Anyway, I began typing and a few ideas just fell into place.  In a bit I had this.  It's not much, but in writing it I got a bit of an inspiration and if I ever get of this couch I may turn it into something much better.

And so, without further ado I present the story without any title because something like that didn't seem terribly necessary.

Long ago, in a muddy little pond, in the land of Prystonia, there lived a monster who struck fear into all the villagers. In exchange for their temporary safety, the savage beast demanded a ransom of one male per day in order for the land to remain unharmed.  And so, every day, a young gentleman of the land would try his hand at defeating the menace, and everyday another woman became a widow.  There was little hope for the terrorized people, but one day a humble and plain prince showed up at the king’s palace, offering to kill the monster in return for the hand of the princess Eileen. While he was not terribly handsome, the princess immediately fell in love with the worthy prince, and because she loved him so, she feared for his life and tried to convince him not to go. The prince, however, refused to live in a land held hostage by so vile a creature and could not be convinced to avoid the fight. He told the king he would need a week to refresh his skill with the sword. As the days passed, the princess Eileen secretly watched her humble prince practice with increasing awe. He was masterful with a sword and flawless in his technique.  After watching him, she knew that he was the savior of the town. When the week came to a close all the land moaned for the prince as he was to be the next king. Only the Princess Eileen knew that this man was much more than met the eye.  As he rode off to the muddy swamp she knew that he would save the village from sure death.  Leaving the village, the prince was given many gifts, but refused them, telling the people, rather, to pray that he would free the village so that they may all be happy later. After riding the trail for an hour he came to the place where the monster awaited him.
"I have heard that you have come from a far land to save this people!" roared the despicable creature. "I can assure you that like all the others you will fall!" The humble price replied with a soft and steady voice:
"I am ready to fight you. If you feel must win then so be it. Let us begin." With a sudden roar, the monster emerged from the slime and ate the prince with one bite.  The next day, another wife became another widow. 

~~~ Life isn’t a fairy tale and neither is this ~~~

Ok, yeah that was a weird ending and I'm not quite sure why I ended like that, but hey, I kinda like it.

~you can follow Baron at


A little more on the Hunger Games

Okay, so I know I said I would post on The Attolia series, but first I need to say something about the Hunger Games...Gale is SPECTACULAR!! I simply love him and his...manliness :P  Peeta is really sweet, and I love him, but he knida striles me as effeminate...his two big pastimes are baking and painting, and he's just so sweet that it's a little unrealistic.  Gale, on the other hand, hunts illegaly, supports his family, and(okay. yes, this helps) he's pretty darn hot :P


Friday, March 16, 2012

So very happy

I'm just remembering how much I love Queen of Attolia and King of Attolia...possibly one of my all-time favorite series, along with the Shadow of the Bear to come soon!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Hunger Games...why should you see it?

  So I know it's kind of late, but I suddenly had this Hunger games urge, and I really want to post about it!! If you're out there wondering why the heck everyone is so obsessed with these books and you don't want to read them yet, read on my friend, read on.


When I first heard all the hype about Hunger Games, I was rather skeptical...I mean, these books are loved by *shudder* Twilight fans, and the main theme is children killing each sounds like a cheesy Lord of the Flies...not what you really want to read right?  Well, count your blessings, I have come to save you from theses creepy recommendations  : P

  First of all, even though, yes, it is highly loved by Twilight fans, it is also highly recommended by Twilight haters, or not-so-much-likers such as myself. :)  It's full of great characters, a captivating plot, and, yes, a touch of romance.  Suzanne Collins knows how to put a little romance in without overdoing it, leaving me happy in the end and craving the next book (I've been on the wait list at the library for two months now...)

Also, the theme isn't really children killing children...that's what the government has lined up for everybody, but the whole story is Katniss and Peeta showing that the government is WRONG.  As Peeta puts it "I want to die as myself...I don't want them to change me...I keep wishing I could think of a way to…to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games,"  Peeta is pretty awesome, (though personally, I prefer Gale...he's a touch more manly) and he helps Katniss get through the "games", willing to die before she could get hurt...basically, he's pretty much stupendeous... :P

  I wouldn't reccomend this book for anyone under the tween-age years, and even then, it all depends on the person. If you are reading it, you should realize that in reality, no, the ends don't really justify the means, and DO NOT TAKE THIS BOOK TO HEART. while it is a good book, it is definitely not a morality guide, and shouldn't be taken too serouosly, and I wouldn't follow their guide to what is right and wrong.  Mostly, this was an enjoyable read that left me waiting for the sequel with baited breath. (cheesy sounding but true :)

 So basically, I can't wait for the movie to come out because
a) They actually picked a real actress, not just a famous tramp
b) I love this book!
c) It's the Hunger I need a reason?!?

I highly recommend reading these before going to see the movie...I hear they're going to keep the story line close to the book, but I always think a movie is better when you've read it already...

Any books you want me to post on?  Let me know in the comments!


Saturday, March 10, 2012

my first BOOK post

wow...I think this might actually be my first post on a book!!

My dad has re-picked up the tradition of reading aloud to us at night, something we haven't done in years, and we started off our reading with a book called The Little world of Don Camilo...the first of many great books.

even though I tend to lean towards suspence or (yup) cheesy romance (what can I say...I am a girl :), I really enjoy this series.  It is the story of a priest (Don camilo) and his adversary, the communist mayor Pepponi who go through a constant love-hate relationship (not in a gay way, just to be clear).
Don Camilo is not your average priest, and is known throughout his land for his big fists and legendary aim with a rifle, while Pepponi comes in a close second for his own well-known right hand, and a tendancy to not put up with any crap someone might throw at him.

though these stories are written by concentration camp survivor Giovanni Gaureschi, they are completely kid friendly...I grew up on them, and turned out...well, okay, I'm pretty odd, but I don't think it's because of these books...actually, I would suggest reading then to your kids or siblings...they are filled with beautiful messages of love without being preachy, and have me laughing out loud whenever I hear them.

movies have been made, starring "Fernandel" or some such thing,(actually, I'm not quite sure if this is his name...we just called him "the horseface from the Bob Hope movie")...Really, I wouldn't recommend the movie unless you speak fluent Italian (which I don't, so instead I pulled of very annoying subtitles...which I wouldn't recommend doing :)

see what I mean about the horse face?

Are there any books you'd like me to review? Let me know in the comments!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Jane Eyre

  OK, so last night , in a way of celebrating the almost end of winter break, my family and I watched the new Jane Eyre which my sister has been dying to see for the past few months.  As a rule, I like to stay away from any rendition of this movie because all I remember from it was when I was a little kid I watched it, and all that stuck with me was how she was always beat up, and it ended with the crazy wife setting the house on fire... apparently their was more to the movie I just didn't pick up on :)

 Basically, I decided to sit through it this time, and was pleasantly surprised.  Apparently it stayed very true to the book, Mia was a great Jane Eyre, portraying the role very well, and Rochester was cute and had me laughing out loud at times.

The end was a little abrupt, but everything turned out OK, and I went to bed happy.

I love this pic, because they look so happy :)


Friday, March 2, 2012

really not so bad after all :)

okay, so I know I just posted about ten seconds ago, but I need to do this, because really my life isn't so bad, and I hate leaving people with an angry (or fuwustawated)  view of my life.  I have a (usually) great family, who let me just hang out outside for half an hour...without any little kids tagging along!!!  In case you aren't from a big family (eight kids to be specific) you may not realize what a rare blessing this is, and may think I'm being ridiculous, but really... they are good to me :)

Another lovely high point in my life is that I finally read the Hunger Games, and as soon as I finished it, I got invited to opening night midnight showing which I am super excited about!!

also... well, i guess that's about it for the moment, because my mom just came in and said she wanted the computer, but basically, my life really isn't that bad, even if some certain somebodies keep trying to get me sucked in to the vampire genre...



WARNING:  I'm feeling rather frustrated right now (or "fuwustawated" as my little brother says) READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...

I went to the library today to see if I could find a few nice easy reads to go over during winter break (hooray!!!), but unfortunately all I could seem to find for the first half hour was vampire novels!  It seems the world has taken on a fascination with this dead creepy race of thingies, and is determined to force it on me too in my spare time...very fuwustawating...